I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
