he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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