I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
