New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
