I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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