Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
