Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
