Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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