I've blown a few things in my day
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
