She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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