Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
