This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
