You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
