Who did Billy Mays play for?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm at about main and main street
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This is my gift to your gina
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
