how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I could make wine with my vomit
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
