So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
