Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
