chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
