she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
