he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
