Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
