I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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