okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize