I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
