I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
