the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We left an ass print on the piano.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
