I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
