Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
