I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
