I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
