do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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