I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
