My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
