So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
