i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
