just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
