At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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