I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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