I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
