I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
