shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
