I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
