Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
