He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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