Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize