so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
