We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
