I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
