Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
