ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
